is it that time of the year already?

i've been feeling quite depressed lately. no, i'm not suffering from depression but i feel like nothing i do is making me happy.

i try to do things that'll lift the stress away from me, like going shopping, or go for a work out, or just chill at home and have fun with friends/ colleagues....but nothing worked.

i went out for a BBQ dinner at my colleague's house yesterday. even though i was laughing, i know that something is missing, but i dont know what it is. and i wasn't happy. i felt like i lack a lot of things in life, but there's just too many to try to fix them...i dont know where to start!

i was at work today. i had to jump in to rescue a little girl. instead of walking towards her because i could reach, i started swimming instead. speed isn't my forte in anything, and it felt like forever before i got to her, even though she was only about 12 metres away from where i was before i jumped in. and when i got out and was getting dry in the laundry room, i started bashing myself up for not being one with speed.

*sigh*

and dont even get me started on academics. i'm just the stupidest and possibly the laziest person alive.

now please excuse me while i go stuff myself silly with some junk food and go tire and get myself wasted at the gym and pool tmr.

:(