it makes me wonder sometimes, if i'm digging a hole for my own, due to certain things that i do..

so last night, i was browsing through some stuff, found out a few things which i would rather not know, but that would be wrong if i didnt find out one way or another. it made me really upset, made me weigh my decisions again to evaluate if the choices i make are the right ones.

right until now, sitting on my bed, thinking everything through again, i still cane make a decision. part of me is saying what that person has done is totally wrong, but part of me is asking me to stay where i am now. the said person has apologised a million times, over and over, but again, when something like what happened, happened, what am i supposed to do?

thinking it through, it just seemed wrong and unfair that i have to be put in this situation. why me? what have i done in my (past) life that i always have to deal with the issue of trust? was i a great liar back in the days, hence i'm suffering now? is it some form of punishment? or is it because my life is simply messed up?

i feel like taking a breather at this stage because i'm feeling so indecisive. after a whole night and a whole night's worth of thinking about it, i still cant come to a conclusion. honestly, what is a girl supposed to do when shit hits the fan? run?

and you know what? the more i think about it, the more i feel like packing my bags and fleeing this damned world :(

when someone violates your trust, what do you do?

do you:

a) forgive and forget, then move on as if nothing happened

or

b) you learn not to trust this person anymore

i is have a new cellphone! lol, more like a 'spare' one.

the bf went to 'upgrade' his plan, and they offered him nzd130 off any phones in the store. he wasn't looking for a new phone, so i quickly snapped up the chance to have a new phone.

paid nzd69.95 for that new phone. i like the design and all, but i must say that nokia phones are stil my favourite at the moment. i'm gonna use this new phone as my spare, coz the camera quality is super crap on it (1.3mp).

and this is my 'spare' phone:

looks pretty cute eh?

on a totally different note, the bf is gonna be my slave boy and walk to blush and get me pearl milk tea. yummmmm....mmm taro...mmm warm milk tea..mmmmm..........................



isn't he a darling? lol :)

i am currently OBSESSED with a song i haven't heard in a verrryyy long time, definately more than 10 years now!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6epuEF7u09E

it's sung by the band Beyond, who originatated from Hk (i think?) and they were quite popular back in early 90's when i first started primary school. i think the band died when the main singer died of an accident or something like that.. (found out on wikipedia that he died during a Japanese game show due to a faulty bridge or something like that...)

is someone nice enough to translate what the whole song means? lol!

i've been listening to it and trying to learn the lyrics as well. if i manage that, it'll be the first chinese song i can sing...! now that'll be funny.

teehee!

if you follow the news, you would know of all the allegations of businessmen 'donating' a large sum of amount of money to one of our politicians.

i had a the news on while browsing the net just a moment ago, and one of the reporters was interviewing the politician. he's such an arsehole, with his stuck up attitude (just listening to the way he speak, it feels like he thinks he's above everyone else) and rude behaviour.

reporter: blablabla..
politician: blabla...i just said blabla..
reporter: really?
politician: I JUST TOLD YOU SO!
amy: -_- he shouldn't even be a politian......

i'm not even into politics as you can tell from all the "bla" in the 'conversation'. but the way the politician carries himself and the statements/comments he makes pisses me off!

ugh!

call me lame...

but i had an idea of selling my goodies at a local market (eg: parnell markets, aotea square markets, etc) so i can earn a wee bit more pocket money to make life easier (not that i'm short of money or broke at the moment, but it sure is nice to have that extra moolah, no?)

so while toying around with that idea, i google-d the requirements to sell food at a local market and it put me off with the whole "contact your local council for..." or "contact your local authority etcetcetc...". all i know is, i need to register the premise where i will be producing the food, ie: my kitchen, and pass all the requirements, then register the premise where i will be selling the food product, ie: at the market or somewhere else, and also register my vehicle and pass certain requirements, obviously things like cleanliness and etc as we're dealing with food.

that's pretty much all i know - i dont know what goes on behind the scenes. is anyone familiar with how it works, how much it'll cost and what other requiremends do i need? help out, pretty please?

btw, it's just a thought at the moment. i have been thinking about selling some cakes/ cupcakes on trademe, but delivering it would be such a hassle as i dont think i trust courier guys dealing with food :P

...and i baked cupcaked again today..surprise surprise!
the 3rd time in less than 5 days!
but this time complete with pictures for your viewing and drooling pleasure :D

i think the nz10.50 book i bought on decorating cakes was absolutely worth it. i think i've mastered all the basic skills, with a couple of final skills to master (eg: roses) before i will allow myself to buy the level 2 book :)

and needless to say, the student set that was sold alongside the book is awesome, albeit being quite expensive for a couple of items at nzd46.50. i think when i get my level 2 book, i will buy the items separately, as i dont use all of the tools included.

anyway, i'll cut out all my crap, and post some photos of my awesome cupcakes. hehehe!

notice on the left side of the pic, there's the 'koru' symbol, which is air nz's logo?

i bakes these cupcakes for my workmates :)

my 'swirly ring' design which i came up with over the weekend when baking with my sisters

all the designs from today
polka dots! cute right?

the first few that i played with today

thank goodness they all turned out fine,

else i would've cried and chuck everything into the bin!

view from the top.

kinda screwed up the yellow lines..

it's the first time i've used a round ended tip..

so i dont have very good control of it yet.

ah well...next time amy..next time..

so, anyone interested in placing any orders now? hahaha no la, i'm kidding. i dont think i have time to bake and sell commercially, but maybe once in a while i wouldnt mind doing that :P

btw, it doesnt just look good. it tastes realllyyy good. the cake melts in your mouth :

honestly, i'm happy to eat the cupcakes by themselves for 3 days.

hahaha ok i'll stop talking up my cupcakes now :P

yesterday must be the best day in my cupcakes history :D i baked the perfect-est cupcakes! they rose beautifully (not lopsided like they always were!) and i learned new techniques of decorating my cupcakes :) it was fun fun fun..until the time came for clean up of course >"<

no photos this time, coz i was in a crazy rush, rushing to the bf's family's place for dinner. i was told it'll be around 6-6.30pm but at 5.30pm, i got a txt saying "come now. dinner's on the table"

-_______- you tell me la, how to leave my place "now" when i had all my greasy bakeware sitting in my mum's kitchen! so i had to quickly wash everything up and pack everything up and leave in a mad rush!

but it was a good dinner, so well worth it :)

anyway, to the bf, lucky you for sitting at home for the rest of this week! now i feel like applying for leave too, but obviously it's too late. ppfffttt! i better get some nice treatment when i get home this afternoon :D

haven't updated for a while, and quite a big had happened since my last post.

let's start with the sad stuff, and move on to happier things so that i can walk away from my laptop feeling happy!

so, as some of you know, and some may not, both my guinea pigs died about a week ago. chester caught a nasty upper respiratory infection which quickly turned into pneumonia, and died just as my mum was about to take him to the vet...chester's condition was so bad, he wasn't eating, peeing or pooing for a good 3-4 days, and he could not move. his little paws were always cold (according to my mum) and he was always shaking and having fits..... :(
bumble on the other hand, was still fine and dandy when chester was extremely sick. he did show signs of loneliness though when chester first passed away, but he got quite sick himself after that. my mum brought bumble to the vet at animates, and that vet was one stupid vet. i probably know more about guinea pigs than he does. he said as 9 month old guinea pig is a very OLD guinea pig -.-"

excuse me? guinea pigs can live up to 6 years ok! my 12 years old sister had to correct him on that. he doubted her, then jumped on the internet to do a bit of reading and then admitted his mistake. it's a guinea pig you arsewipe, not a mouse/ rat! so anyway, that same stupid vet gave my poor guinea pig 3 days worth of antibiotics, which i personally found it was too short for an antiobiotic course.

mind you, i have no knowledge when it comes to medications for animals, but i did read online that they are usually given for abou 10 days. someone's guinea pig was on the same antibiotics for 2 days, and it became resistant to it...

anyway, a day after bumble's last course of antibiotics, he became extremely sick. he was sleeping on his side in his pigloo the whole day, hardly moving, and breathing heavily. his little paws were cold...he was suffering from the exact same conditions as chester just before he died. my sister told me how sick he was before she went to school, and when i was at work, i called my mum and she said she didnt have time to bring him to a friend of mine who's a vet. so i spoke to my supervisor, and she very nicely granted me half a day's worth of domestic sick leave to go home and bring poor bumble to my friend.

my vet friend gave bumble a shot of the antibiotics straight into his muscle, and i almost cried at the vet seeing how much bumble was suffering. i brought him home, rubbed some vicks vaporub onto his nostrils, and smeared some on the inside of his pigloo as well to aid his breathing coz he was pretty much gasping for breath. i sat beside bumble, covered him with a small cloth to keep him warm, tried feeding him some water and mushed food but he didnt have the energy to even swallow them. each time he tries to swallow the food/ water, he gives a soft whine and his whole body starts going into spasms. that's when i told myself i needed to leave and not look at how much he had to suffer.

i told my dad bumble probably wouldn't last till that night, and true enough, my sister called me to say that bumble has stopped breathing. it didn't hit me until a bit later. i just sat in one corner of the room and chewed on my crackers. about an hour later, i was hanging my clothes up, i started sobbing and cried nonstop for a long long time until my eyes started hurting. i finally stopped, managed to go out to get dinner, go watch hancock and came home to get ready for bed. just before i fell asleep, i started crying again and i fell asleep crying, with stefan patting me on my back to make me feel better.

i managed to type the bulk of this post without crying, until i got to the point where i mentioned how bumble was suffering and shaking and having spasms.

right until today, almost a week after bumble has died, i cant bring myself to go home coz i dont know how i'll react when i walk into the garage and see that my piggies aren't there anymore...i still cant talk about my guinea pigs in public, and at the slight mention of my guinea pigs, i start tearing :( gosh, i dont even know how i became so attached to my pigs, especially bumble, when i've moved out of home for over 5 months now....

but yeah...no more guinea pigs now, and i dont think my parents will allow us to have anymore after all the expenses..one thing i can say is if you have a pet, go make friends with a vet. a simple visit to the vet for bumble and 3 days worth of antibiotics costed my mum $75. my vet friend was only going to charge me $35 for consultation and antibiotics injection!

anyway, on to happier things now...(it's hard to think happy when i'm still tearing...)

*breathes......

so, about baking. i found a set of books by Wilton that teaches you how to decorate very nice cakes. they cost about $54 each, and each set comes with some handy tools which you will need while self-teaching. i have decided to buy all 3 sets, but i will start off by buying the first set, and see if the person on trademe can hook me up with a good deal if i buy all 3 sets together. once that is done, you'll be seeing lots of pretty cakes from me :) if the decoratings are successful la...you know amy and art dont go hand in hand.....

now i cant remember what other happy stuff happened. shall blog another day when i remember them. now i should go prepare dinner as all 3 boys are out tonight, so i have the flat all to myself with no massive dinner to cook and i can cook my own dinner in my underwear if i choose to :P